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Celebrating 40 Years!
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PEPTalk - Loving More® Magazine
Loving More® Nonprofit
1984 to 2024
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reader,
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Wow, it's 2024 and as Loving More heads into the New Year, I can't help but reflect on the past as I think about the future. I am a child of the 70's and early 80's, and I find it fun to remember all the things that we were told about the future forty or fifty years into the future. Now I have questions... Where are the flying cars and, more important, where is the robot that was going to do the dishes and the laundry for me? I read about the robot in a 1980's article in Omni Magazine (for the young ones, it was a science and science fiction magazine).
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The future is elusive and sometimes fantastical, but what we imagine that future will look like is often very different from the reality of the present. It was almost twenty years ago in the fall of 2004 that I took on the task of running Loving More Magazine, an organization with the goal of bringing polyamory out of the shadows. Some of what I imagined when I made the decision to save Loving More from shutting down has become a reality, but of course it looks different then I imagined, much like the robot vacuum that sweeps my floors is not the robot I imagined doing the dishes. Though for me, the robot is a disappointment, what has happened with Polyamory Awareness is so much more then I imagined in 2004. I thought it would take much longer to make an impact and to fundamentally change the way people relate in romantic and sexual relationships, and I'm happy that it is actually better then what I imagined.
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In 2004, most polyamorous people were closeted and lived in fear of losing their children, jobs, and families. When you told someone outside the community you were polyamorous, they either had no idea what it was, thought you were part of a polygamy cult, or you had wife swapping key parties. It was very rare to meet someone who even knew the term, much less had any basic understanding of what polyamory or ethical non-monogamy was. Now when I run into people in public spaces and start a conversation, they often say "oh, I've heard of that"; while they may not have a full understanding, they at least know of it. Then there are many folks who surprise me and say "oh, me too" or "I've thought about exploring that." I personally thought it would take much longer to reach this point. This is not to say that polyamory is completely safe or accepted. That said, I now know more people who are out about their relationship choice, to children, to family, to friends, and even to work, then those who are closeted. While we still have a long way to go for protections and safety, we have come very far in awareness and a world were people can at least consider the choices. The media has changed, it is no longer in a frenzy to show polyamory as the sensational weirdos over there. The media now have more interest in telling real stories and including polyamory in everyday shows as part of the landscape of relationships.
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I hope you are as proud as I am of what we together have accomplished. Loving More and the polyamory community, with your support, has had a huge impact on the world, we have changed the landscape of loving relationships in a truly revolutionary way!
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What does 2024 have in store? Or for that matter the next twenty years. Loving More, like so many organizations, has gone through many transformations. In 1984 (forty years ago and a year after I graduated high school), Ryam Nearing published her book The Polyfidelity Primer and later that same year formed an organization dedicated to non-monogamy called Polyfidelitous Educational Productions (PEP), with a newsletter, PEPtalk for the Polyfidelitous. PEP hosted their first conference in 1985, in 1991 the organization became Loving More, and in 1995 published the first Loving More Magazine issue was published when Ryam partnered briefly with Deborah Anapol. For Loving More, 2024 is our forty year anniversary as an organization and major influence on polyamory/ethical non-monogamy around the world. It has been an amazing journey and an amazing accomplishment for such a small underfunded organization, and I am honored to have played a role in bringing us as a community to where we are today.
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The future of Loving More Nonprofit is uncertain. The financial challenges of the pandemic, two years of no events followed by a year of financial losses in 2022, have taken their toll. In an effort to keep things going we closed our office and pared down some programs. It was only through the business goodwill we have built up over the years that the Embassy Suites offered us an opportunity to produce Poly Living again in 2024. I have a great relationship with the staff and was able to negotiate a contract that, although at a higher cost then in the past, was low enough to make it work. I honestly do not know if it will be enough to make up the losses or enough to save this great organization. So our future, Loving More's future, is uncertain. What is not uncertain is what we have accomplished. We have literally helped to change the world and the ripples will continue to be felt no matter what the future holds. We should all be proud of that!
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In my imagining of the future, I see another transformation of Loving More to serve what the community has grown into, and to foster real change in acceptance and safety for those who choose to love more. It is exciting and I look forward to witnessing that future.
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So here's to an amazing 2024, to more fun, more adventure, more connections, and always more love.
Warmly,
Robyn Trask
Executive Director, Loving More
And the Loving More Board of Directors
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Help us reach our needed fund raising goal to keep our programs moving forward by Donating or Becoming a Member
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Last chance to reach our goal of $14,000.
A big Thank You to all who have contributed to get us closer to our goal.
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This is a big challenge and only with YOUR HELP can we reach the full matching fund and our $14,000 goal!
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