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Polyamory interview on Radio Netherlands International English Program The State We’re In

Robyn and Jesus

The State We’re In, is an English language international show on world affairs.  We had the pleasure of doing an interview with them last week which is available currently at http://www.rnw.nl/english/radioprogramme/state-were.  This week’s show features my partners Jesus, Ben and I talking about our relationship with each other and how polyamory works for each of us.  It is very positive and in my opinion well done.  I was struck by them asking Ben a question about what he gets from his relationship with me he doesn’t get from his primary partner.  It is to me a strange question that I personally have been asked this numerous times by friends and acquaintances who do not get polyamory.  This is the first I have heard the question by the media and one a lot of people wonder.


Ben’s answer was great and similar to what I would have said but you’ll have to listen to hear what he had to say.  The show is intermixed with a song Ben wrote and performed originally at Poly Living 2008 in Philadelphia.  I love how they brought the lyrics in at different times.  The entire show is interesting and informative and was a lot of fun to do.

Please give us your feedback here.


  1. I thought the interview was a great one, and it was refreshing to hear some relatively difficult (and good!) questions asked about polyamory without focusing on the sensationalist aspects. This show was about relationships, not just sex, and I think Ben and Jesus both exemplified compersion throughout the interview.

    Good job, everyone!

    It’s interesting that Firefox doesn’t recognize the words “polyamory” and “compersion”. It also doesn’t recognize “fibromyalgia”, which drives me batty.

  2. Great interview by all three of you! What a hit.

    That show would be an excellent link for anyone to send to family or friends who are worried/upset about you being poly, or are unclear on the concept.

    Thanks for all you do.

    Alan M.

  3. Michael Rios says:

    Robyn said “I was struck by them asking Ben a question about what he gets from his relationship with me he doesn’t get from his primary partner. ”

    If I had been Ben, and was asked that question, I would have said “I get Robyn!”

    I see polyamory as less about filling needs than it is cultivating a garden of delights. If you have to pick *one* person to live with, as your only sexual partner, the only person to possibly to share finances with, etc., etc., then you need to see that person in terms of meeting your needs.

    When I consider a relationship with another person, though, I don’t think of getting my needs met at all. I think in terms of what I appreciate about that person, and how I enjoy what they offer. If I have “needs”, I have lots of ways of meeting those– I don’t have to look to any one particular person to meet them.

  4. Wonderful interview! I agree with Robyn, that emotional maturity is critical. The interview conveyed the happiness in the various layers of the relationships. I found Ben’s anecdote about watching The Grinch with his son very touching.

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