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Poly Living 2024 Presentations

2024 Speakers Page

Click on workshop title  for full description

*Workshops & Presenters Subject to Change*

Robyn Trask & Jesus Garcia                      

Beyond Monogamy is an introduction to polyamory and the concepts of open relationships, swinging, and relationship choices. Relationships come in many forms and styles, and this workshop is designed to help individuals explore possibilities and find what kind of relationship style works best for them. We will answer questions and concerns and give basic information on the different relationship styles, the differences and similarities, and how they are practiced.

Eli Sheff                      

“Rising interest in CNM means that more people are thinking it might be a good fit for them, and some of these folks are connected to someone who doesn’t want multiple partner relationship. This creates the mono/CNM dynamic, where the relationship partners need to figure out if they can find a common ground that meets everyone’s needs. This class introduces the CNM/mono dynamic, explains when it works or not, and explores some compromises people use to navigate these mixed relationships. Using information from 25+ years of research, 10+ years of coaching, and examples from Dr. Eli’s two marriages where she was the monogamous partner in love with someone who wanted CNM, this presentation is based on social science but has plenty of room for feelings too. In this class people can expect to learn: why CNM has become so popular recently; why CNM does not work for everyone; mono and CNM-friendly personality traits; is multiplicity or singularity an orientation; when the mono/CNM dynamic works well; when the mono/CNM dynamic does not work; how to find a compromise; and what has worked for others’ relating strategies.

Laura Boyle                     

Many polyamorous people have to address the strawman reaction of “But what about the children?” when they come out as polyamorous – and still more have concerns about how their relationships will intersect with them or their partners having children. This class touches on some of the biggest “kid issues” polyamorous folks will face, including: approaches to coming out to older children either as a theoretical idea or when you have additional relationships; addressing non-traditional family structures with toddlers and young children; explaining new partners and what their role is, or how it is evolving, to different age groups; concerns of schoolmates and other children yours may interact with; interactions with schools and doctors offices regarding children and additional partners or additional parents; legal concerns of multi-parent families; smoothing big relationship transitions for children, why and how one might want to do that.

Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny                     

Polyamory is highly popular among modern Neo-Pagans, perhaps more than among any other religious umbrella group. In fact, the term was coined by a Pagan who wrote the first widespread article about it. How do we Pagans do it differently? We’ll talk about the links between polyamory and polytheism, and the practice of using polyamory as a spiritual discipline of relationship, to purify one’s attitudes about love and how we interact with each other. By the author of “Pagan Polyamory” and his partner.

Jim Fleckenstein                     

“Mononormativity” means believing monogamy is the “proper” form of intimate relationship. It also represents all the prescriptions for how to “do” monogamy. Its counterpart is “polynormativity.” This tries to prescribe all the “correct” ways to “do” polyamory. Both are problematic. Polyamory – as we know it – is a “young” relationship style. But it’s already acquired a lot of polynormative baggage. This baggage can hurt you on your path to a successful nonmonogamous relationship – if you let it. Much of this “advice” is well-meaning. Some of it comes from generalizations based on individuals’ bad experiences. But in scientific circles, they say, “The plural of anecdote is not data.” This workshop will examine nine common polynormative “prescriptions.” Then, I’ll invite you to consider their meanings and how they might apply to you. I’ll help you see the hidden mononormative bias concealed in some of them. Then, we’ll discuss ways to incorporate the kernels of good advice while avoiding the bad. There’s a saying, “Sacred cows make the best hamburger.” This workshop will help you build your own best burger.

Mischa Byruck                     

A powerful restoration practice is a transformative tool for maintaining trust and connection within our communities and relationships, and can even give us the confidence to take more risks together. The Gold Standard Apology is a six-step process informed by the best minds in restorative and transformative justice, coaching, and conscious communication. Activities include dyad story shares, practice sessions, and discussion of the most common pitfalls of harmful apologies. Participants emerge with an elevated and even transcendent understanding of what real accountability actually looks like, and a concrete practice for conducting restoration in their own lives.

Murray Schechter & Lee Hencen                     

Death is something we often deny, but also the one thing we know for sure will happen. But how does it work when a loved one is sick or dies, and you are not their primary partner? How will you find out? Will you be able to attend the funeral? How will you introduce yourself? Lee and Murray will facilitate a roundtable discussion on these and other issues.
When CNM Meets Therapy: Bringing your Relationship(s) to the Therapy Room

Zach B                     

This presentation is for anyone who has ever considered, or ever has experienced, the intersection between non-monogamy and therapy. The presenter has been polyamorous for 15 years and is now a practicing mental health therapist who works with people who are in or are considering non-monogamy. The presentation will cover the different types of therapists, what to look for when shopping for a therapist, what to expect, dos and don’ts, as well as what licenses and credentials mean (and what they don’t mean). We will go over the questions to ask, how to find and vet your therapist, and there will be time provided to ask a therapist (Zach) ANYTHING about bringing your CNM to the therapy space.

Rebecca Jay & Chrissy Holman                    

Polyamory opens many pathways to exploring relationships to many people. Those explorations often help to connect us to individuals who have needs that can run counter to our own. Join us as we explore the ways we can prioritize needs, hold ourselves personally accountable without dismissing our relationship responsibility, and create spaces of mutual care and trust.

Liz Newsom                     

Thanks to the wonderful work of people like Jessica Fern, we have a deeper understanding of what it means to have secure relationships. In this workshop we’ll explore common definitions related to solo polyamory (SoPo). We’ll explore common misconceptions about SoPo, such as assumptions of loneliness or commitment-phobia. We’ll discuss the idea of shifting the narrative around SoPo towards a more ideological perspective. We’ll look at how embracing SoPo as a means of personal growth and self-discovery can challenge societal norms and promote self-love, highlighting the potential for SoPo to be a platform for healing, where individuals can explore their needs, boundaries, and desires in a mindful and empowered way. We’ll conclude by discussing practices and strategies for cultivating self-love within the context of SoPo, including self-care, self-reflection, and emotional intelligence, and how this actually improves our ability to connect with others.

Heather Franck                     

Inspired by the forgotten dating game show Baggage, this interactive workshop will explore the emotional baggage we bring to new relationships through a group game and guided discussion. We will take a lighthearted approach to the what and when we choose to reveal to potential lovers, as well as the what and when we expect in return. This workshop may include some harsh opinions about deal breakers and red flags in dating.  Please come with an open mind and a body positive approach to the discussion.

Jennifer Moore                     

This workshop with take an in-depth, interactive look at relationships. We will be doing an interactive activity using relationship “notecards” that each participant will be able to take with them, so that they can create their own. But we will also look at intimacy, how we handle intimacy in our relationships, and how we set up our boundaries – for ourselves and our partners. I will use my experiences gained over the last few years of dating myself as a primary partner and how it has allowed me to become a better partner for my current partners, as well as what it has taught me about what I need and want, and how to be more present for others. I hope to pass this knowledge on and use the conversation with audience participation to help the group become better partners overall as well.

Ray Beyor                     

You may be thinking what does Confidence have to do with Polyamory?  Have you ever talked to someone who has little Trust in themself?  It can be hard.  They are iffy, say yes or no too quickly, they are hard to read, and you may have a sneaking suspicion that even though they are smiling, soon they may be resentful behind your back.  As Polyamorous People, we have to talk a lot, we have to know ourselves to be honest, and we have to stand up for our own boundaries. Without Confidence we can get into a lot of trouble and be quite miserable.  In this presentation, we’ll go over my Confidence Tool Kit and how it may apply to your current relationship hurdles.  We will go through some quick exercises alone and in a small group to help you use the tools on an issue your team chooses.  You’ll not only take away the full digital tool kit and practice sheets from this presentation, but a clear understanding of how your Confidence can be the catalyst for braver loving actions.

Intimacy ConAmore                     

Polyamory is liberating. The freedom to love many is also a responsibility to honor autonomy, boundaries, consent, and respect for self and others. Too often, we see or experience a fellow polyamorous friend or mate’s insistence on trying to control another person’s choices and desires in adjacent relationships. This is not okay. Everyone has the basic human right to choose for themselves, and then you have two choices, to stay or to leave. You do not have the right to give demands or ultimatums because you want to control their choices with others. This workshop is designed to spotlight how we can better respect our own autonomy through group participation.

Hugh Stewart                     

Yoga Boxing was created by my first Tantra teacher Laurie Handlers. It’s a powerful method of releasing anger and frustration and helping create boundaries in your life! Boundaries are where safety is established between people just like our property lines with our homes. You’ll learn how to bio-energetically stand firm in your no! No is a complete sentence. This is the most effective way I have experienced communicating and listening effectively when emotions become heated between two people. When somebody says I don’t have boundaries, stay away! Without boundaries, healthy communication becomes almost impossible to navigate.

Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti                     

Do you frequently experience guilt, shame, and feelings of inferiority around your kinks, sexuality/sexual expression, gender identity, relationship dynamic/configuration, and/or race? This interactive workshop, “Transcending Shame,” tackles the topic of personal shame through audience participation and group exercises where you get to delve into subjects like: an incident (or incidents) in your life of which you’re ashamed; the difference between guilt and shame; ways you can recognize that you’re being shamed; and aspects of mental health that we don’t talk about…until NOW. It also gives participants the opportunity to: understand the meaning of shame, learn the difference between guilt and shame, gain awareness of shaming phrases and behaviors, and understand just how extremely important a good community can be in helping others to transcend shame.

Ico the Autistic Love Mystic                     

Would you like to feel that you belong in any group that you choose to join? Would you like to feel like you’re at home wherever you go in the world? Would you like to experience feeling loved anywhere in the world? Imagine what it would be like to go to a new place that you haven’t been before and while you’re there, experience that you belong and you’re feeling as comfortable there as if you were in your own home. Come join Ico, the Autistic Love Mystic, for the How to Belong and Feel at Home Wherever You Are workshop, where you’ll develop the ability to feel that you belong in any group and be able to cultivate the feeling that you’re at home anywhere you go in the world.

Panel                    

Over the past 20 years a lot of work has been done to bring polyamory and ethical non-monogamy out of the shadows and into the awareness of mainstream society. This has been a very successful endeavor, and polyamory and ENM have become, if not mainstream, a considered paossibility for many. Where does that leave us as polyamory/ENM activists? This is a basic round table discussion seeking to address specific challenges of what is next for polyamory/ethical non-monogamy activism.

Zach B                     

Zach has been teaching the Five Pillars of Consent to anyone who will listen since 2016 (aka, before the current iteration of the “MeToo” movement which began in 2017). In that time, he has picked up a few interesting items along the way, as well as learned the ways consent is discussed, thought about, and taught (or not) in various communities. Additionally, the way our society thinks about consent has evolved to become clearer and more inclusive, though not enough by any measure. Furthermore, there have been some developments in the way consent is discussed and brought about in our world. This workshop will be a brief refresher of the Five Pillars, along with a couple of updated understandings and considerations on this most critically important topic. As usual, the presentation will be full of Zach’s information, humor, flair, and sincerity. *Not required, but a brief skimming of the Five Pillars of Consent would be helpful to those who are not aware.

Natalie Davis                     

Metamours—our partners’ partners—are unique to Polyamory, as are our relationships with them. Bring your metas (and partners) for a cooperative and interactive session that brings us closer together as polyamorists and metamours.
Releasing the Toxic Hold of Body Image on Loving Ourselves and Others

Robyn Trask                     

How does body image effect our relationships? What effect does body shaming have on our sense of self? What harm do we do to others with our own bias? How do we let go of prejudices and programing to heal our own body image and how we see others? Bodies are beautiful and amazing, we all have one, and for many of us we have a challenging relationship with that body. We live in a beautiful world of amazing diversity and that diversity is a big part of the beauty all around us. We hold up ideals of mononormative/heteronormative one size fits all approach to relationships, and we do the same for bodies. This workshop will dive into the harm done by body shaming and prejudice with a focus on the ways in which these messages damage our personal body image and negatively impact our mental, physical health, and our relationships. Together we will begin a journey to go beyond body acceptance to loving our amazing bodies and radical self-love.

Torin Caffrey                     

Let’s have a conversation. I would like to share my experiences in conversation navigating male bi-love/bi-relating. How have I for nearly 40 years navigated these waters in not so friendly times. There have been many terms used so men can articulate connecting with each other. Bromance, Biromantic, Bi-sensual, Bi-sexual, Bi-curious have been but a few terms used, let’s talk. It is my hope through sharing my journey and experiences around bi-love a clearer understanding can be achieved. It is also my hope that by talking and answering questions, the conversation will broaden, and more acceptance can be achieved. So, let’s talk about bi-sensuality with a Jazz attitude and some Gumbo conversation.

Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny                     

Alternative relationships are on the rise as people question the “standard” relationship template more every day, and that includes people who are creating ways to have healthy and ethical negotiated hierarchical relationships – called by names as diverse as Leader/follower, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, and Owner/property. A significant portion of folks in these relationships also practice consensual non-monogamy, but when you put these two relationship styles together, there are points to consider which may not occur to either egalitarian polyfolk or monogamous power dynamic practitioners. How do we combine these two alternative styles effectively, especially when people also may have egalitarian partners in the mix? We’ll discuss our best hard-earned practices and skills for this work of deep trust. Presented by the authors of “Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic.”

Tamara Pincus                     

Sex can be a spiritual and magical experience that can bring you closer to yourself and to your partners. We will start with how to create a sacred sexual space and how to build the container that keeps all of the participants safe both physically and emotionally. We will then discuss bringing in elements of magic into your sexual experiences using the four (sometimes five) elements, chakras, the gods and goddesses of your choice, and a variety of other elements. If the participants consent, we may also use some of the time to engage with some basic sacred sexuality exercises including breathing together, eye gazing, and light touch. No nudity or engaging in anything that the regular world would consider sex will be involved.

Jennifer Moore                    

This will be a fun (yes, I said fun), interactive discussion about STIs, the myths about some of the common STIs, & how to have the difficult conversations about STIs. We all know that STIs are a risk of having sex, but how many of us are having the conversations that we need to be having, or more accurately, how many of us are easily having the difficult conversations when it comes to our numbers, our STI status, our concerns, & anything else when it comes to STIs & sex. We will cover the facts, how to have safer sex conversations, & then we will have a breakout session to practice having the difficult conversations.

Leanna Wolfe, PhD                    

My solo show chronicles my personal and professional sexual explorations as an anthropologist, a research and clinical sexologist, and as a young woman growing up in the thick of the Feminist and Sexual Revolutions in the San Francisco Bay Area. I chart my own sexual awakenings, attempt to sort out feminist orgasm politics, and venture into Mexico as a young anthropologist. Curious and in search of perspective, I engage raw Mexican Machismo, find my way into several remote villages and whether being raped on an isolated Acapulco Bay beach. Alongside acquiring professional credentials (MA in Anthropology (New School) PhD in Sexology (Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality), I explore kink and polyamory sexual undergrounds. My deep appetite for how humans connect intimately leads me to study 1980s singles culture in Los Angeles publishing Women Who May Never Marry (Longstreet, 1993), the Gerewol Festival (marriage market in Niger), the Cybersex world, and contemporary cultural issues including sexual cheating and the sexual politics of #MeToo. “177 Lovers and Counting” infuses an anthropological lens on a 50-year career of curiosity, intellectual rigor, and full-bodied human engagement.

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Tara Skubella                     

Join Tara in authentically relating through fun, yet meaningful and heart opening tantric practices.  Some connection games are lighthearted and silly, while others are deeply heart-felt or edgy.  We will open the workshop with “wheel of consent” like practices before moving into closer connection games.  You are invited to arrive with an open mind, heart, and soul to be able to lean into your more authentic self.  Tara, and the group, will provide and hold a safe space to be as physically close or not per your comfort level at any present moment.  Join us and learn one of the foundations of Tantric relating.  Leave feeling seen, felt, supported, light, and playful through authentically connecting with others energetically, emotionally, and physically.
Saturday Night Games                    
The game room is a place to have fun and connect with other attendees playing a myriad of fun games: Joking Hazard, Exploding Kittens, Flux, Sexxxtions (learn about sexual adventures and preferences), and much more… Join in the fun and hang out a while. (Feel free to bring your own games.)
Saturday Night Movie Room                    
Interested in how the media has changed toward polyamory over the years? Come watch a few of the past talk shows and documentaries on polyamory over the past 20 years.
Workshops are subject to change.

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